Intentional Parenting

Do you have a toddler/preschooler? Do they seem to have the ability to zero in on exactly which one of Mommy's buttons she doesn't want pushed at any given moment? You're not alone!

{My little is three... what does that make her? I say toddler, some say preschooler. But she's not in preschool! I'm holding on to the tiny years as long as I can! ;)}

So here is our current situation... I'm behind on school work (what else is new?), the house is a WRECK, and my shoulder is out of commission. I have no idea what I did to it, but I can barely move it! And it's my left shoulder. I'm left handed! While I'm trying to take notes and write papers, I'm in excruciating pain.

The higher my pain level, the lower my patience. They're directly correlated to one another. I think Reagan knows this. We have had our issues with the Terrible Threes (way worse than the terrible twos, mind you) but this has gotten SO MUCH BETTER in the last few weeks! (Stay tuned for a post on my number one best tool to combat tantrums very soon!)

Anywho, with my nerves shot and so many stressors on my mind, the first thing out of my mouth has been "No!" all too often lately! I honestly just have to take a deep breath and think about what I'm saying or requesting. Is it a fair no? Am I asking too much of a three year old? When I make a request or a rule, I want to do it with INTENTION!

To me this means having valid reasons and owning my words. And by valid, I mean something other than "it's annoying" or "I don't have time" or "my patience is already worn too thin". You see, if I save my "no's" for times when I really legitimately need them, they carry much more meaning and I can really stick to them! If I say no for every little thing Reagan does during trying times, the seriousness and intent wears off and I'm probably going to recant it when I realize I wasn't really being fair.

This is something I personally need a lot of work on and I struggle with daily. Especially in times like these when I'm feeling kind of stuck and useless and literally hurting. I can see the effect it's had on Reagan's behavior after just a few days, and I'm not happy about it. The girl has been quite sassy lately!

The good news is that even if you slip up for a few days or you've never been intentional in your parenting before, you can start now. You can get back on track! Set good limits with reason and your kids will thank you for it. Being intentional and letting go of the things that I should not be trying to control honestly brings me a sense of peace. Y'all, peaceful mommy is SO much happier than tense mommy, and so is her little one!!

Here is my goal for the next couple days: don't say no unless you really mean it. If Reagan is having fun and it's not hurting anyone or anything, just let her be and let it go, even if it's not exactly what I want her to be doing at the moment or the decibel level I'm looking for.

I'll be talking about intentional parenting and intentional living plenty more because it's something I believe in so firmly and it has really blessed my family. How do YOU parent with intent? Comment or send me an email!

xoxo,

Katie

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Thanksgiving with Toddlers: Giving it Meaning

Thanksgiving is well on it's way y'all! I'm excited! This is such a meaningful time to me. It's a time for family and friends and reflecting on all the things we have to be so very thankful for. I feel like this is so important, especially before all the gifts that come with the holiday season. It sets the tone for not simply getting, but giving and being thankful for what we receive! Thanksgiving is also a time for remembering our heritage. Indians and pilgrims people, you know the story!

So Reagan is three now and this year I decided she really needed some different ways to bring Thanksgiving into perspective. 

First, I bought her a Little People play set from Fisher Price.

You can find one here. She had so much fun setting up Thanksgiving dinner, saying prayers, and learning about how the pilgrims and the Native Americans came together for this celebration.

Now I've been out of school for some time and history was never my best subject, let's be honest here. I could remember the basics, but I was a little fuzzy on how the finer details of the first Thanksgiving came to be. I took my one major Christmas shopping trip of the year this week (have I mentioned that the closest mall is a little over an hour away?), and I decided that while I was picking out Christmas books, I needed to look for some Thanksgiving material to.

That's when I came across this beauty:

Anything I could possibly want to teach Reagan about Thanksgiving is right here in this handy children's book! I picked mine up at Barnes and Noble. They touch on the Mayflower, religion, Squanto, some of the pilgrims' struggles, and being thankful to God for our blessings. I cannot say enough how well-rounded this book is. I'm super impressed.

So Reagan and I read this book together (5 times in one sitting because she liked it so much), and we have been playing with her Thanksgiving play set. I felt like she had gotten enough out of them from our discussions and over the next couple of days I let her play on her own.

Then I had a proud mommy moment.

Reagan was playing and she told me she wanted a bowl of grapes. I fixed it for her and then instead of eating it she put them on the table along with some pumpkin decorations she found around the house. I asked her what she was doing and she told me that she wanted to have Thanksgiving right then and there. She said she needed to set the table so her friends and family could come dinner and thank God for everything they have! That right there makes my heart so happy! She was so excited about giving thanks to her Lord and sharing a meal with her friends and family!

So, how do you teach your littles about Thanksgiving? Comment below!

xoxo,

Katie

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Thrive Moms: Warrior

It's been a rough week. It's been a rough few weeks to be completely honest. I've blogged about some of the problems I have juggling school, being an "only parent", and life in general. This week has been especially hard though. Thankfully I was on Instagram and I came across Thrive Moms. They posted about a bible study they were starting this week. What a blessing that God led me to this while I thought I was wasting time on my phone!

I'll be honest, I don't know much about them, but you can follow Thrive Moms with me on Instagram at @thrive_moms . Also, if you have an iPhone or iPad, download the Bible app from Life Church. I regularly turn to the built in devotionals for guidance in my time with the Lord. I was thrilled to find out that Thrive Moms' bible study was available through the Bible app I've come to love!

So anyway, today is day 2 out of 10 and I am loving this so much! I felt like yesterday's content and scripture was written just for me! Have you ever been in church or listening to Christian music or just in some type of reflection with God and gotten this warm and fuzzy feeling? Like you were speaking directly with your God and things were really just clicking? That is the most wonderful feeling, and that is exactly what came over me when I was reading for day 1. I think I just had my heart ready for this message.

It is about being one of God's warriors, and let me tell you lately motherhood for me has felt like a battle. I'm battling with my daughter's father who refuses to be present and seems to go out of his way to make parenting harder on me. I'm battling with school and work and everything that calls for my attention when I want to give the time and attention to my daughter. I'm battling with my daughter to get her to eat healthy, use her manners, and practice safe behavior (I type this as I'm banning her from the furniture because all she wants to do is flip off of it - hello daughter I love, do you want to break your neck?!). 

Yes, life is a battle. But do you have your armor on? We have the armor of God to protect us in this parenting battle! Oh the comfort and piece of mind that brings me! I need God. I can't do this on my own. As much as I want to be Superwoman and have it all figured out and do this motherhood and life thing flawlessly, I can't. But I can do it with God and my best is enough when I'm working through Him!

Let that sink in! You don't have to go it alone! Just make sure when you walk into battle, you're prepared and in the armor of God.

I hope if any of you are having a hard time you can take comfort in that fact. I know I do. Now don't forget to get your Bible app and look up Thrive Moms! Let me know what your favorite part of the bible study is.

xoxo,

Katie

Women Attacking Women

Twice in the last week I have seen people I know on Facebook post statuses attacking other women for "getting themselves pregnant on purpose" among other things. Now I know I got A's in Anatomy and Physiology, but are there really that many people who don't understand basic human anatomy?? These people are WOMEN attacking other women. WHY? Are we not all in this together? This womanhood thing and all it entails?

This is really a two part issue. I take serious offence pregnancy blame. I am a single mother, and no my daughter's conception was not planned and motherhood has not been a walk in the park with a husband by my side, but that does not have any effect whatsoever on her validity as a human being and a child of God and a cherished, most wonderful little blessing to myself and the rest of our family and friends. It does not reflect in the slightest any determination of the supreme amount of love and adoration I feel for the tiny human I created or the awesome responsibility of motherhood that I fully respect and embrace.

Now I realize that not every single mother's situation is like this. I was blessed with an incredibly supportive family and a heart that loves deeply. There are mothers (both married and single, mind you) out there who lack the support and nurturing personalities to be good parents to their children.

But one thing that I can say I have in common with every mother in the entire world is that it took SPERM for me to be impregnated. Folks, this did not happen magically. Trust me. It is physically impossible for me to do this by myself or to myself or on purpose. Just as it is for any other woman out there. So the idea of blaming one person for a pregnancy when it clearly takes two to tango is ludicrous. Pregnancy blame is stupid and makes no sense, so stop it y'all!

The second part to this issue is why in the world do girls have it out for each other?? Let's all be friends and get along, okay? Seriously though. I've been a young girl and I can remember the catty mean girls and the things they said and judged other girls for. I have a daughter who loves everyone and is so sweet and accepting of people, and I don't ever want her to think that it is okay to try to verbally attack someone, especially simply for the fact that they are female. I also don't want some other girl to come along and be hateful and rude and crush her spirit!

Y'all, we are raising our girls to be the versions of us they see when we think they aren't looking. It's not "do as I say not as I do." They're going to act the way they see us acting. So is your daughter being told to play nice, but then hearing your snarky comments about the other moms at play group from the safe confines of your own car? What's she going to think when she reads all your Facebook comments and subtweets one day?

Let's be honest, none of us are perfect. I know I'm not. And sometimes people do things that really irk me, and I can't keep it in. I have to vent about it. All I'm saying is we should try to be a little nicer and more understanding of one another, especially our fellow women. Take the high road and set a better example for our girls. Let's lead by example.

I'm doing it for my daughter, and for yours.

xoxo,

Katie